We had a most enjoyable outing to the delightful Merton Croquet Club on Friday 13th August.

Roger D and Steve played a doubles match in the morning against Carolyn and Lavinia. As the higher handicapper, Lavinia got started first using several bisques and made good progress. Then Steve had a chance and set up a four ball break with some great positional shots then proceeded round to Two-back without much problem, save a couple of blobs at hoops, remedied with bisques. Carolyn and Roger also made good progress, and the game was extremely close in scores. Steve tensed up and played Roger’s ball by mistake but Merton could not capitalise. He then nervously tried to use the remaining half bisque, in order to separate Merton’s balls, but missed a sitter! The Edney jab was back… grrrrrrr… Roger did a marvellous three ball break to get round to 4-back, and Carolyn displayed some canny hoop running to move to Rover. Finally, at 19-18 to Ember, Steve had the chance to make the game safe having returned to form to set up a hoop run at Penultimate only for the “jab” to return as he took on the hoop. Luckily, Lavinia had too much to do to achieve the equalising hoop after the time bell rang, and Ember were one-up. 19-18 it remained.

We then had a jolly good lunch under a Gazebo next to the lawn.

In the afternoon, Simon (14 handicap) played Julie (9), and Roger S (14) played Colin (12). As the author of this post left well before the conclusion of either game, here are the first-hand accounts of the players themselves:

Simon wrote: “My opponent, Julie, nine handicap, knew what she was doing: ran 10 hoops using one of her 3 bisques. I ran 11 hoops using 4 of my eight. She then ran 12 hoops using her remaining 2 bisques. I then ran 12 hoops using my remaining four bisques.  I fluffed a shot which gave her a chance to run the remaining 2 hoops with yellow and then peg out, which she almost did, but fluffed the pegging.  So I again had a chance but my split roll from corner four wasn’t quite good enough to secure the necessary hit-in for me to finish off the remaining 3 points required.  So Julie then had a simple peg out to secure her victory.  We had 30 minutes left on the clock.”

Roger S told me: “I used 2 bisques in my first turn to get to rover and split the balls up into the 4 corners. Colin just joined up and kept the innings declining to use any bisque and playing safe and cleverly to make progress 1 or 2 hoops at a time. He used the odd bisque to get out of trouble. During this time I made 2  attempts at making another big break but both failed leaving me on 9 with only 2 left and Colin with 4 or 5. I decided to be cautious and make him work to catch up and hopefully use his bisques in the process. Eventually  he had a small break to take his brown to peg but finished his bisques in doing so and left the balls in playable positions.  This gave me the confidence and opportunity to go for peg using a bisque to set up. Using my other bisque I was also able to peel my other ball through rover also. Blocked by the hoop  from safely pegging out and with all the balls in the centre of the lawn I was able to clear his green and peg out his brown to make it very difficult for him to catch up and leaving me set up to peg out assuming he didn’t hit in – which he didn’t. Game over with about 15 mins to spare.”

Thank you John McEnroe, thanks Sue… well done Novak, but we will take it from here! The event of the year was finally upon us, a friendly fixture versus All England Lawn Tennis & Croquet, at croquet!

Okay, so we didn’t play on the hallowed turf of Centre Court, not even Court One. Alright, so it wasn’t even an outside court but it was a converted tennis court… two in fact.

How did this all come about? Well, like it or not, it pays to have connections and Simon’s daughter works at the AELTC. So a big thank you to Kate for organising this for us!

We played six games of doubles in the morning. Ember won 4-2 overall. Their team included a former UK number one tennis player, a former MP and a recently retired TV commentator.

Once we’d got that out of the way, we trundled over to HQ and sat down for silver service lunch. The Beef Stroganoff was to die for, darling! Anyway, once that was done, off we trotted round Centre Court, pitch side and up close to the Royal Box. Pictures of us next to the main trophies (so didn’t get to take it home with you, Novak?) Fabulous!

It was equally fabulous to have much needed support for the team. Malcolm and Jenny Baird provided the photos and the oohs and aahs respectively. Also, it was great to welcome back Jenny Kirkman, social member and widow of the late Roger Kirkman, who helped start Croquet at Ember back in 1989. Thank you so much for coming along!

We talked about a return match at Ember sometime soon… followed by a tour of our resplendent Croquet Pavilion, steeped in history and myth. Hoorah!

A hot muggy July 1st, as Ember Croquet Club played host to Woking CC in an SECF golf handicap league match. Woking player Alan had requested to play his three games as quickly as possible so he could get away quick. Therefore, we started at 9.30am and the pitch was a little slow to start. Steve took him on first with the benefit of four extra shots. Steve took a 3-1 lead then gifted Alan two hoops. After that Steve pulled away to win 7-3 with some smart play using his bisques.
Following closely behind the two Ember Rogers played against Maggie and Gill. At 4-4, Roger S managed to run hoop 9, leaving his ball just through the hoop. When it came round to his turn again, hitting through hoop 9, Roger S directed the ball through hoop 10 (21 yard shot!). One more hoop, and victory was secured 7-4 for Ember.
Alan managed to finish a quick cuppa before he was off again, this time a doubles with Sandra against the home team’s Simon and Steve. Alan played some wonderful shots but Steve and Simon stayed with Woking all the way, and perhaps should have won. Steve called his a foul shot on penultimate which allowed Woking to get back to 5-6, leaving the Ember balls still stuck in the hoop so Woking went and drew level. Woking clinched the golden hoop.
Roger S then played Maggie who gave him 4 bisques. Roger did not need them all to win 7-3.
Alan was back on for his final game next, with Gill against Ember’s Roger D and Simon. Although Gill and Alan are low handicappers (2 and 3 respectively), the Ember lads managed to clinch a 7-6 win. They had a little bit (read: massive amount) of good fortune on the golden hoop.  From hoop 12, Roger D put his red ball in the jaws of the golden hoop (i.e. from the wrong side), then, after black and yellow played their approaches, Alan’s approach with blue conveniently pushed the red through, setting it up for Roger to run from the right side, which he executed with aplomb.
Steve took on Woking’s Sandra, and all this activity was before lunch! Steve scoffed another Jaffa cake, downed his fifth tea of the morning and buzzed round, winning 7-2.
Following lunch and the departure of the busy Alan, the three remaining singles games were played rather more sedately. Simon had an easy win versus Maggie, again benefitting from four extra shots. Roger D went neck and neck with Sandra but eventually won on a golden hoop with a ricochet off Sandra’s ball while trying to clear it from in front of the hoop from an awkward angle. The tensest game was probably Roger S for Ember against Gill of Woking, who finally got their second victory 7-5, after some great long range hit-ins and tactical play, which cancelled out Roger’s use of his 5 bisques.
Then there was cake!

Ember won the match 7-2.

Bowls, Tennis and Croquet were all very busy this weekend. Down the Croquet end, in the morning we had All Saints Church group visit us again for their monthly game of Golf Croquet, and then the club barbecue followed by some serious Association Croquet.

We have managed to recruit a lovely couple – Louise and Brendan – from the local group, and this time several others took away application forms. All are welcome of course, and we really enjoy welcoming groups of friends here to give croquet a go. There is a lot of laughter and some very good shots too! I’d pick out Howard’s first ever jump shot and Martin’s encouraging “Hit it hard, Jan”, as my personal highlights.

It was great to see John Brooks back on the lawn, this time with his son-in-law James. They had a great battle against Tom and Hugh in an AC game in the afternoon. In the other game, Steve partnered Pat, but had to leave early for a Zoom Quiz, leaving him to finish off Roger D and Simon. Well done Pat!

Steve Edney 27th June 2021

Ember Croquet Club explored new horizons this week, with a trip to Cheam Village to play in our first Golf Croquet league match.

The team comprised: Roger Dollimore – Captain (Handicap 5); Roger Stearn (7); Simon Charrington (7) and Steve Edney (7).

Steve and Roger S took on Cheam’s Sue and Liz in the first doubles, and it was level pegging, when Roger S was close in front of hoop 5 for us to take the lead. If he could get some pace on the ball, he reckoned he could get the ball up to hoop 6. It was the right thing to attempt but unfortunately he didn’t run the hoop! Cheam pulled away after that and won 7-4.

The second doubles saw Roger D and Simon take on John and Hazel from Cheam. As there is one lawn, they had to wait for the first game for over 15 minutes to clear hoop 4. That’s the only issue with GC if there are two games sharing the lawn (it’s even worse with AC, in my view!) Anyway, Ember did not fair any better in this one, which finished on the same score, 7-4 to Cheam.

Next to play was Steve in a singles match against Sue. This was neck and neck all the way through with some great shots played. Steve eventually got Ember up and running, 7-5. Ember 2-1 down in matches.

Roger S played Liz, but she really showed her experience at this brand of croquet and did not allow Roger S to settle and find his usual flowing rhythm. 7-3 was the final score in this one… 3-1 to Cheam.

Next it was the battle of the captains. Someone asked Roger D how long he had been playing croquet. “56 years” was the response, but Roger D quickly added that he was an AC man through and through and this was probably the fourth or fifth serious game of GC he’d ever played. It showed unfortunately as John trounced him 7-0. At least it meant Simon could get on with his game and Steve could have his lunch.

Simon played the fourth singles game of the morning session against Hazel. Each hoop was fiercely contested and Simon ground out a 6-1 victory as the buzzer went. Oh, I should have mentioned Jackie (spelling uncertain, it may be Jacqui) who did a tremendous job as the non-playing referee, and boy did we need a referee on several occasions, the most hilarious of which is coming up soon, so please stay awake and read on…

LUNCH!!

Going into the afternoon session, Ember were 4-2 down but far from disheartened. This, after all, was very much a learning exercise.

Steve and Simon played the doubles game against John and Sue. This was another tight tussle, and it went to a golden hoop. Both Ember chaps had used their bisques effectively, resulting in points, and Simon also managed to “deem his ball had been played” (GC players know what that means) on one occasion. On the golden hoop, Simon managed a great rush shot sending Sue’s ball far away, and Steve’s ball was over the hoop. Sue probably had an inch to aim at from 15 yards to stay in the game. It just missed so Steve had the easiest of hoops… 7-6 to Ember. Now it was Cheam 4, Ember 3! Could the Rogers turn it round in the two remaining singles games?

Roger D was first to play, this time against the in-form Liz. This time Roger D gave a good account of himself and the game was closely fought. Only one problem, Liz won it 7-5. So the match was lost, 5-3 to Cheam. Did Roger S know? Actually I forgot to ask him, but Roger S was playing for pride, would he finally find his usual consistent form that had evaded him for much of the morning’s play?

Yes he did, and he won! Another golden hoop victory for Ember, as Roger S’s dogged determination won out against Hazel. A more respectable match score of 5-4 to Cheam. Valiant try by Ember. Scoresheet below:

I mentioned the brilliant referee Jacky earlier. Well, in the last game between Roger S and Hazel, she had a right pickle to sort out. Steve had been checking the quality of his photos (shown above in the slideshow) then looked up and remarked, “Hey, Roger is playing black? I thought he was red and yellow!” Screams of “you’re playing the wrong ball!” came from the gallery, as Jacky marched on and took control of the situation, backed up admirably by John with an easy guide to GC and the rulebook in his hands. Sue ran on and took a photo, and Steve took one of the melee (it’s in the slideshow). It was decided all four balls were to be placed in the penalty area (boundary centre line) and play resumed, and the right balls were hit thereafter.

So, that was fun. A great day of Golf Croquet, played in the right spirit. Cheam were great hosts and I hope we can play them every year.

Steve Edney 12th June 2021.

We welcomed Surbiton to our first B League AC match of the season. The rain welcomed itself too, but soon went away, and conditions remained blustery with sunny intervals.

First up was the doubles: Steve Edney (12) and Tom Eddy (16) for Ember versus Steve Parish (12) and Val Hitchens (22). Val is new to AC but quickly showed us she could hit in and run hoops. Tom got some early chances to proceed which he took well, matching Val. Then Steve E got going and breezed in typical fashion round to 3-back before getting unstuck. Ember were well in front by this stage and Steve P had struggled to get into a rhythm. Then with just over thirty minutes to go he managed to use his one-ball skills to string a break together. After a few more short breaks Surbiton inched ahead by one. Steve E was back on and could take the last hoop (he could not peg out, as this was a handicap game and both balls need to be at Rover). As the three hours and a quarter were up, the game went to a golden hoop – first team to run their next hoops wins. Steve E finished his turn giving Surbiton a difficult hit in and Tom a chance of an eight foot roquet near his next hoop. Surbiton narrowly missed so Tom took to the lawn for the match….

Narrow miss! Ember had no bisques but as it was after time could not use them anyway, so up stepped Steve P to wrestle victory away from Ember – Ember 18, Surbiton 19.

The afternoon games matched Roger Stearn (14) for Ember against Alan Grundy (14) of Surbiton; and Simon Charrington (16) versus Elizabeth Kennedy (14). Simon got off to a flying start and got his first ball round most of the way using only three of his ten bisques. Elizabeth could not get going and Simon ran out the winner 26-8. Similarly Alan struggled to set up four ball breaks as opposed to Roger who used his bisques sensibly to breeze through to a 26-7 victory. By the way, if you have read the captions on the photographs, he did manage to get green back through the hoop but it stopped just short of brown.

So Ember came from behind to win the match 2-1. We are looking forward to playing Steve P and co later in the year for the Mike Lambert Annual Memorial Match, if it can be arranged. Interesting fact: Steve P started a new handicap card on the day we played at Surbiton last August. He totted up the number of games recorded, 41, against 29 different opponents. In the same timeframe, I have played just six games against six different opponents, three of which were on that Summer’s day.

Steve Edney 11th May 2021